Some one once asked me if I was a glass half empty or a glass half full kind of person, I replied, “How big of a glass are we talking about?
The point of the question is an obscure idea that positive people think of their lives as
being half full and negative people think of their lives half empty… seems like a terrible way to see life. Rather that focus on how much is in your glass, maybe you need to think about what is in your glass and how big of a glass do you really want.
Some people go through life drinking “vinegar” and they have a full cup anytime you need it. They are all too happy to share it with you and they never seem to run low. It doesn’t matter if you say no because they will pour it in you cup and try and ruin your day. The best you can do in this situation is to keep your cup full of happiness and their efforts will just roll right off the top.
A cup half full of love is still better than a cup full of angry and hate. Plenty of people that think they are happy are actually full of fear. Their fear is so strong it gives them a feeling of power, they can’t even tell how afraid they are. Many of them keep weapons in the house and say they are for protection, I always say from what? If someone is scared and they fill their cup with anger it is difficult to share your compassionate views with them. They will call you soft and say you don’t understand… meaning they can’t explain what they are afraid. They will argue that it is their right to be angry and they are correct. But it doesn’t mean you have to let them victimize you. So keep a safe distance you never know when they will suddenly consider you a threat to their peaceful existence.
Then there are the people that are really half empty. They don’t just see the world in a negative matter they actually see their life as being empty. These people have a leak. No matter how many times you fill up their cup they can never be full. In some circles these people would be considered co-dependent, needy, or depressed. These people need help. It doesn’t have to be a therapist but at the least they need someone that will listen and maybe give them a pat on the back. In the long run if these people stay in this situation they may never be able to get up. They turn to substance abuse and may even physically hurt themselves. In relationships, this person drains the other to the point where the full cup person has to say, “If you don’t get help, I have to leave.” It is a tough pill for these types to swallow but it can be the thing that gets them to wake up and start filling their own cup.
There are some simple solutions for solving these imbalances in the cups. It begins by seeing that the cups size can change when they are able to be compassionate with themselves and others.
The people with vinegar in their cup can always pour it out. They don’t need to carry this pain and sour feeling they have. It is not their duty and it is not their burden to bare. Often these people see them selves as the victims of someone else’s actions. They were once a fine wine with their compassion but constantly absorbing other people’s carelessness has caused them to sour. These people can choose to stand up for themselves and tell the others to stop treating them with disrespect. As soon as they do they will instantly feel a change and will continue to stand up for what they know is best for them.
The people full of anger and hate have a huge cup. Their cup is so full because they use all their fear to justify their anger. It just grows and grows and soon it is so large they can’t see anything but this anger. These people can begin to pour out their cup. As they loose some of that rage they can see more clearly. Usually the best way to conquer these fears is to question them directly. What are you really afraid of? Why are you so angry at this person? What would be a better use of your time than being angry? And the big one, how would you act if you weren’t afraid? These questions take time but as they are asked repeatedly the answers will be increasingly honest. The person will see that hiding behind this big cup of fear is actually making them weaker and that facing their fears will make them appear harmless giving them back their strength.
The people whose cups are always running empty are using the wrong cup. Their cup isn’t working but they keep trying to fill it. They need to take some pride in their cup and fill it slowly and honestly with something they like. I know it’s hard, I have been there. They don’t even want to think about themselves so what they need to do is get a smaller cup. They need to start with a thimble, then a shot glass then a sippy cup and work their way up to a cup that suits the amount of love they have. It may be as easy as writing a letter to themselves complimenting them of how many good things there are about them. And the cup will fill.
See the cups are not half full or half empty it is really just how you look at them. A person who is positive and truly full does this by loving what they do, loving who they are as a person and loving their role in the world. A person with a full cup can’t fill the cup of the half empty because they fill from the inside out. So a full cup can only keep filling up until they overflow with happiness. Some people will try and shame them for being happy but these people just need to go on and keep their eyes on what makes them happy. It is not their role to make everyone else happy just keep their own cup full. And as they model this love and joy others will gravitate to them and they will learn how to fill their own cups.