Have you ever felt sad and have someone say, "Cheer up. " I'm sure it didn't really work and depending on your mood it may have made you more angry. People that are angry or stressed don't need cheering up. It's only a form of denial. What they need is to fully embrace their problem. A more helpful thing to say is, "Do you want to talk about this or do you want some space to process your feelings?" This gives the angry person a chance to focus on themselves which is usually a part of why they are angry. When we deny ourselves something or put others needs before our own we feel an imbalance and it can be expresses with anger at others and ourselves. People around the angry person could offer to take the kids or them self out for a walk and give the angry person time to reflect on the source of the anger. The person will immediately recognize it is not anyone's fault but their own.
Again it is not anyone's job to cheer someone up. Only they control their emotions. They are in control of their life and have to deal with this fact rather than placing blame before they can move forward and begin dealing with the problems that surround their anger.
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