So I think about my childhood a lot and how my father was such a jerk most of the time. I didn’t even really love him until I was 18 and saw the world with a new perspective. Offline I started a journal, not of daily things for me, but of things that I want to remember now. I wanted to reflect how I felt when I was still young that I could one day share with my child. I thought that it would be great to have something like this if I died before my child got to know me but in all reality it was suppose to be a reflection of me when I still knew myself. I know that my father has forgotten who he was long ago by the way he acts now. He thinks my torturous childhood was a breeze and that he was such a good father. It’s a shame I could never break my self to tell him the type of person he was and what horrifying memories he created for us all. So to move forward I want to be sure to mention a few things to my child that I was never given the benefit of hearing from my father. For one, I never knew what my father did as a career. He was in the Marines and he left it at that. He never told me what he got his degree in college, he never told me what he wanted to be in life and he never showed me how to shape my education to one day fit a career. He told me one year before I finished college that he had gotten the same degree I was about to receive; a degree in Business Management. I was happy to see that we at least think enough alike that we got to the same place without discussing it but really he could have asked earlier, and could have given me advice on what are good things to do in college. All the same I don’t even use my degree and I am a bit happier in the career I have chosen. My father and I barely talk anymore and really it seems that I barely miss him at all. I’m not sure if this was a result of him not talking to me more before or merely the way we had been headed this whole time but I do know that if he had tried to provide more guidance then he did that we both might be more happy.